When it seems like you can't do right for doing wrong.
Doesn’t it sometimes feel like "you can’t do right for doing wrong", especially when a relationship isn't everything it could be?
For those I work with whose businesses or careers are doing just fine, the thing they come to me for is the disharmony and dissatisfaction in their relationship.
Generally, they’re polite enough to each other, the children seem to be growing up ok, and to the outside world, everything seems kind of rosy.
But inside they are dissatisfied, there’s a lack of respect that grows like a weed with every off comment, misunderstanding or argument and however much they so truly want the relationship to be so much more connected, loving, peaceful and fun, they feel stuck in this merry go round of emotions.
"And the worst thing is it’s also creeping into the other areas of their life."
What I hear most from those in these situations is the exhaustion of trying to keep it all together and they are blaming themselves, as well as their partners, without getting anywhere.
Though often by the time I speak to these clients they feel like the relationship is at a breaking point, they also know it’s been going on far longer than they care to admit. For whatever reason - whether it be the children, the family stability or simply to keep the peace, that weed I spoke of earlier - germinated a long time ago.
Some speak of past affairs, others of lack of attention, some of the numbness that has veiled over everything, and they all want one thing - to be happy again.
Some are at the point that they don’t care if the relationship continues or ends, others know there is a chance to move forward successfully, and deep down, whatever happens, they know they can’t keep wearing the mask of bliss when inside they are crying.
They’re strong, that is so clear to me, they have overcome many different challenges in their life, but they don’t believe they are strong, because they haven’t been able to work this out. Despite the meditation routine, the yoga practice, the self-help books and even the counselling. Still, the disharmony is there, and it has to stop.
What I help these clients do, is connect back to what’s really important, step back into alignment with their true selves and confidently express themselves out to the world - most importantly in their relationship.
Confidence is one of the biggest areas I see affected when people aren’t showing up aligned with their true selves. Because when you’re not aligned, when you’re showing up with that mask on when you’re being the person you think you are supposed to be rather than who you really are, ultimately you're living a lie.
And that’s going to eat away at you unconsciously, it’s going to dig into your confidence without you realising it and it’s going to gnaw at your self-esteem.
Like any vicious circle will have you acting out of alignment by snapping, judging, blaming, point scoring, followed by feeling guilty, ashamed, frustrated and sad.
And so it goes on.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. When we step into the highest version of ourselves, allow the past to settle where it belongs, let go of the old unconscious blocks that have been ruling our internal blueprint, and step courageously into the future focused on love, compassion and appreciation of ourselves first, that’s when everything changes.
You can not attract all that you desire for yourself, or your relationship if you don’t show up as that person for yourself first and foremost.
My years of experience in Strategic Intervention Coaching, Applied Hypnotherapy, in mastering Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the work involved with developing The Psychological Levels of Love® process, as well as my own unique life experiences have taught me that without alignment, without connection to that highest version of ourselves, without letting go of the emotional connections to the distresses from our past, without finding and using the gifts and resources that reside inside of each of us, true happiness; that space of peace, joy and fulfilment, in all areas of our lives, it can’t happen.
But we don’t know what we don’t know, right?
These are the shifts my clients take to step into that true, aligned, happy version of themselves. The one that attracts all of the right people and opportunities into their lives, because they are living their best life.
- Change the feeling of security in your physical space, both in your externally and internally to marry your actions to your desires.
- Change the stories that you’re telling yourself - consciously and unconsciously - so you are supporting, and not hindering yourself.
- Focus the greatest love, respect and compassion on yourself.
- Recognise negative associated thoughts and feelings towards other people and situations and take the higher ground
Doing these four things will step you into the highest version of yourself. You will know who you are and how when you show up as your best self everyone around you, and most especially your spouse gets the chance to do that too.
Will it save your relationship? Maybe. If it’s meant to be saved, then yes. But if your relationship has been built on a foundation of the lie I spoke of above, there is a possibility that it will break apart. The difference is that you will be able to stand empowered in your decision making, confident in your actions and excited about the future, instead of suck, lost or fearful of change.
If you have already started to embark on some sort of self-development and yet your life is still falling short of how you hoped and dreamed it would be, you know now that you are acting out of alignment with your true self and that this is exactly what the 8 week intensive programme that I run covers.
So if this resonates and you’re ready to clear out all that’s been holding you back, once and for all to strive confidently forward with the rest of your life, and attract to you the happiest and most contented of relationships, simply contact me and let’s chat to make sure the programme is a great fit for you.